Top 55 funniest baseball quotes

Humor at the Diamond: The Top 55 Funniest Baseball Quotes Ever

Baseball is often considered the national sport of the United States because of its long history, memorable moments, and famous players. Baseball is noteworthy for more than just its sensational catches and home runs; the sport is also known for its humor. Baseball has a long history of producing laughs, from the quirky quotes of Yogi Berra to the outrageous actions of colorful managers like Tommy Lasorda.

Here will take you on an exploration of the “Top 55 Funniest Baseball Quotes,” where we’ll look at the clever, odd, and downright entertaining incidents that have helped to make baseball a sport full of wit and comedy.

Importance of funny quotes in the sport:

Funny baseball quotes play a vital role in adding a touch of levity to a game often marked by fierce competition and intense passion. These humorous asides and tales serve as a reminder that baseball is supposed to be fun despite all the stress and seriousness. They provide a special connection based on laughter shared by both players and spectators, bridging the gap between them.

These amusing baseball quotations not only give levity but also contribute to the legacy of the game, forging long memories among fans, athletes, and even the media. These lines, from Yogi Berra’s catchphrase “It ain’t over till it’s over” to Casey Stengel’s wisecracks, highlight the value of humor in maintaining baseball’s fun and carefree atmosphere.

55 Funniest Baseball Quotes:

funniest baseball quotes

funniest baseball


Here are the “Top 55 Funniest Baseball Quotes” that have left us in stitches throughout the history of the sport:

  1. “It’s déjà vu all over again.” – Yogi Berra
  2. “90% of the game is half mental.” – Yogi Berra
  3. “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” – Yogi Berra
  4. “Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.” – Yogi Berra
  5. “Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.” – Yogi Berra
  6. “It ain’t over till it’s over.” – Yogi Berra
  7. “We made too many wrong mistakes.” – Yogi Berra
  8. “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.” – Yogi Berra
  9. “If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.” – Yogi Berra
  10. “The future ain’t what it used to be.” – Yogi Berra
  11. “In baseball, you don’t know nothing.” – Yogi Berra
  12. “You can observe a lot by just watching.” – Yogi Berra
  13. “I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.” – Yogi Berra
  14. “The only reason I need these gloves is because of my hands.” – Tommy Lasorda
  15. “The way to make coaches think you’re in shape in the spring is to get a tan.” – Whitey Herzog
  16. “When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.” – Tom Candiotti
  17. “Pitching is 80% of the game, the other half is hitting and fielding.” – Mickey Rivers
  18. “You’re never a loser until you quit trying.” – Mike Ditka
  19. “I’m not an athlete. I’m a professional baseball player.” – John Kruk
  20. “The wind always seems to blow against catchers when they are running.” – Joe Garagiola
  21. “I’d be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball.” – Pete Rose
  22. “I can’t recall a day this year without a damn tough play to make.” – Ozzie Smith
  23. “You can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get.” – Michael Phelps
  24. “The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up.” – Bob Uecker
  25. “Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.” – Yogi Berra
  26. “The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.” – Yogi Berra
  27. “How can you hit and think at the same time?” – Yogi Berra
  28. “You should always go to other people’s funerals. Otherwise, they won’t come to yours.” – Yogi Berra
  29. “When I was a little kid, I was told that anyone could become President. Now I’m starting to believe it.” – George Carlin
  30. “I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go.” – Joe Torre
  31. “I found out that it’s not good to talk about my problems. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad you’re having them.” – Tommy Lasorda
  32. “Baseball is a skilled game. It’s America’s game – it, and high taxes.” – Will Rogers
  33. “It’s no coincidence that female rhymes with feeble.” – Leo Durocher
  34. “The way to make coaches think you’re in shape in the spring is to get a tan.” – Whitey Herzog
  35. “I’d walk through hell in a gasoline suit to keep playing baseball.” – Pete Rose
  36. “I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.” – Yogi Berra
  37. “Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.” – Leo Durocher
  38. “Trying to sneak a pitch past Hank Aaron is like trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster.” – Joe Adcock
  39. “All pitchers are liars or crybabies.” – Yogi Berra
  40. “You can sum up this sport in two words: ‘You never know.'” – J. P. Ricciardi
  41. “I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.” – Dorothy Parker
  42. “Never bet on baseball.” – Pete Rose
  43. “The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.” – Dizzy Dean
  44. “I made a 100 on the mother test.” – George Herman “Babe” Ruth
  45. “I can’t recall a day this year without a damn tough play to make.” – Ozzie Smith
  46. “I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” – Jackie Robinson
  47. “All I remember about my wedding day in 1967 is that the Cubs lost a doubleheader.” – George Will
  48. “You don’t save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.” – Leo Durocher
  49. “I knew my career was over in 1967. I was tiring in the middle of a game and I felt dizzy.” – Stan Musial
  50. “The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.” – Bob Uecker
  51. “If you don’t know where you’re going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra
  52. “There’s no sure way to spot a cynic. They smile like other people.” – Stan Musial
  53. “There are only two seasons – winter and Baseball.” – Bill Veeck
  54. “Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion you’re wasting your life.” – Jackie Robinson
  55. “Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too.” – Yogi Berra

These quotes, born from the love and humor in the game, continue to bring joy to fans and players alike.


Humor has always been an essential companion on this grand and often unpredictable journey. Funny baseball quotes remind us that in a game where statistics and strategy reign supreme, there’s always room for laughter and the unexpected. We remind ourselves as we enjoy these funny moments that baseball is more than simply a game; it is a tapestry of memories, friendship, and, most importantly, good-natured enjoyment. Because of this, the great Yogi Berra once said, “Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too.” Baseball is not merely a sport, but also a treasured aspect of our life because of the harmony of love and laughter that it embodies.

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